Allay Your Fears & Reach Your Goals
So as I sit here this morning writing, there is a crew of painters power washing our house directly outside my window in preparation for some much needed new color. I can’t help but think as they traverse effortlessly on the ladder, carrying a hose that contains more than adequate potential force to easily propel them from here to kingdom come if they aren’t in complete balance - how come they aren’t afraid? I would be petrified. I guess it becomes second nature. Maybe being high off the ground on flimsy ladders was never an issue for them. Maybe this gift of perching poisefully was born out of necessity. Maybe it is where they feel most comfortable. Maybe they used to be a little apprehensive but soon got used to maneuvering gracefully through space on such seemingly unsubstantial supports. It’s mind boggling to me and certainly not a fear that I have any desire to conquer at this point in time. I have enough other “stuff” to work through with regard to fear. I have been making some head way though over the past few years - actually the last 10 years have been quite liberating. I am embarking on several new adventures though and so some old frets and some perfectly new anxieties are lurking around and within me and my guides are telling me I need to nip ‘em in the bud now before they get too out of control. Okay, so how do you propose I tackle this task I ask? These were the answers I received:
“Remember what your friend Kristen used to say…” One of the things I have fallen back on for years whenever I have been in fearful (but non life threatening) situations is to ask myself “What is the worse possible scenario?” My friend Kris told me this for the first time when we were in high school and I cannot tell you how many times I have asked myself that question, and I can’t think of a time where the worse possible scenario that my imagination could conjure up ever even remotely came in to being. That question takes a lot of the charge out of the situation right there.
The next tool they spoke of was: Break it down into its simplest form like a math problem. For example: lets say you are going to be traveling abroad alone for the first time. I remember that day - I was going to see my friend Gáelle in Paris and although I was extremely excited about spending time with her and exploring her fair city, I was rather intimidated by the whole process and my stomach was doing somersaults for days beforehand. So by breaking the entire trip down into small easy to digest pieces I had a much easier time. I first thought about the ease I would have getting to the airport. My family dropped me off, so I didn’t have to find an alternate ride. Good, so I am at the airport, now I have to find which line to go in. Since I can read English fluently that didn’t present a problem. I found where I needed to go from the attendant at the Air France check in place. I made sure I didn’t have any liquids at all on me, as the airport security had changed since the last time I had traveled so I was prepared and didn’t have to hold up the line while they went through my plastic Ziploc baggie. BE PREPARED. That alone squelched some potential anxiety. Now my French is purely politeness and greetings - I have forgotten the rest of what I learned so many moons ago in school, so I was feeling like the inept American entering the Air France plane, but the attendants could not have been nicer and more helpful. Nothing to worry about there. The rest of the flight was thankfully a non event and I met up with my friend and we had an absolute blast for the first couple days I was there. Then Tuesday came and she had to go back to work, and it was planned that I would venture out and enjoy Musée d’Orsay on my own. Boy it took me a long time to muster up enough nerve to even leave her apartment. Then the walk to the museum was about 5 miles. Talk about reeling…ahhhh….adventure has never been my middle name. But I FORCED MYSELF (another great way to conquer fears -JUST DO IT!!) Then after the museum I was to meet Gáelle at her place of work. She told me where to pick up Le Métro and where to get off but I didn’t write it down for some reason - thought I would remember, made a wrong turn in the middle of the vast underground maze and ended up taking a train going in the opposite direction from my desired destination. Got off the train and thought my heart would burst out of my chest and splatter all over the dirty concrete in front of me, but it didn’t thankfully. I remembered TO BREATHE which ceased my panic and then really looked hard at the map in the station. I figured it out and found the right route! I was so proud of myself. Especially since not only had I not written down the correct metro line, but I didn’t have an address for her work (we had just walked the entire route from the museum to her work the day before so I thought I would remember) or her house, didn’t have her phone number (although she had given me a cell phone, but that was in the days when I was completely clueless about cell phones and I barely new how to turn it on.) So if I hadn’t stayed relatively calm and if my memory hadn’t kicked in (and if my guides hadn’t been watching over me), I could be still trying to find my way through Paris, because this is one part of the trip I hadn’t been really prepared for. Probably seems like a simple thing to a lot of people - no big deal right. It was a huge thing for me - way out of my element. Found the right stop got off and then - gee which way am I supposed to turn. Happened on a traffic cop and asked in my pitiful French and he proceeded very courteously to give me precise directions (she happened to work in a very prominent building so an exact address was not necessary) in English on where I needed to go. Perfect. I don’t think there are many days in my life time that were as empowering as that one. I was the little engine that could - yayyy me!
Anyway so taking it to simplest terms is helpful. I just finished a new book by Sonia Choquette named The Answer is Simple…Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! I have loved all of Sonia’s books and there were quite a few pearls in this one as well. She talks about instantly changing your vibration by voicing aloud your fears, speaking out every one as if taking out the trash, and you will begin to start to feel a shift in your reality. This makes sense to me.
You also want to make sure that their is some kind of reward at the end. What’s the upside? Just dispelling the fear is certainly more than enough of an upside for most of us since then you can move ahead and achieve your targeted goals. Think about all the long term ramifications of the situation though, and see how much easier you will be able to move through your life just by taking the time to address these issues.
Need something more concrete to work with? Make another list (Gotta love the list!) This time make a list of the present fears that are keeping you from achieving your ambitions then write down every auxiliary fear branching out from that and then the worst possible scenarios associated with each. ‘What will happen if I do this, say that, etc.’ Reread what you just wrote and try and look at it from another vantage point. Ask yourself if these fears are founded or not. Most likely not. In other words is there a rational basis for these fears. Cross off the ones which have no real basis. Now go back to the one’s that are feasible. Hopefully there aren’t many. Break them down to simple form by asking the question out loud “Is this particular fear really likely to end up with this result if I try and push past it to achieve my goal? Listen for an answer from within. The saying out loud part again really helps to disperse the fear into the universe so again, it takes the charge away, this is a very important step. When you have deactivated each one, test it. For example, if your fear is public speaking, you have written down all the fears that branch out from that. You have spoken them out loud in to the universe and then you have crossed off the ones that don’t really pertain, then you can attempt your goal. Do it in a small way if need be at first. Ask for assistance from your higher self so if you get stuck your higher self can take the reigns for you. Kind of like being on auto pilot for awhile until you are able to be present again. You will find things coming out of your mouth so fluidly. Just don’t think too much, have faith that what you are trying to convey is present in you body and you just need to access it and it will be on your tongue and out your mouth. Okay, so if it is fear of spiders or snakes or something, what could you do to dispel that kind of thing? Well go to a pet shop and seek out the hairiest tarantula you can find or the largest snake you can find and concentrate on all its intricacies - how it moves, what the texture of its skin or exo-skelton, or fur is like. Try and recognize the cuteness factor, of all things. That helps greatly in casting away fears, then take time to really appreciate all the engineering it took to create such an exquisite specimen. Find out more about the animal, what its lifestyle is like. All creatures are desirable and fulfill their purpose in this world - no one is more or less important. We need to remember to see the beauty in all. That is it. Appreciate the gifts each creature exhibits and then you will be less fearful. A certain amount of fear is not a bad thing, however. It keeps us safe from things as it causes hyper vigilance. When it comes to something like wild animals for example a little fear and cautiousness is a good thing I think anyone would agree. And let’s not forget to respect and give room as well.